I composed this thing on the 8th day of a 13 day migraine. I honestly thought I was going to be that way forever. So, I wrote a song about it.
It's the only song with actual lyrics I have ever recorded (though there are two others with words in them, but they don't count as lyrics in the same sense as these).
When I listen to this, I am always shocked by the quality of the music. It isn't like anything I have done before or since.
The lyrics and vocals on it are simplistic and strange. In fact, they are so simplistic and strange that for years I felt a sense of embarrassment about them, and didn't let this song out for people to hear. I wished I had the master tracks at my disposal so I could remix the song without the vocals.
Later, I got over that. I realized that the pretentious-sounding lyrics and oddly-delivered vocals really reflect the way I was feeling that day: a strange, detached, almost-robotic, melancholic artificiality that I felt I had to use in order to survive interpersonal interactions. I felt that, at any point, I may be whisked away to the loonie-bin.
When I realized this, I decided there was nothing to worry about and that, perhaps, the embarrassment was due to my not actually remembering my intentions when I recorded the song. That whole 2 weeks is a vague hint of a memory.
The more I listen, the more I realize I probably made the melody of the vocals identical to the guitar melody and sang it with the weird accent and simplicity atop jarring digital static on purpose, and that, just maybe, the pretense of the lyrics is more of an anti-pretense, a genuine reflection of the pretense I was projecting in my life.
I will never know the truth.
Anyway, now it's been so long since all that happened I don't feel any real attachment to this song at all and release it again with no qualms. I actually consider it to be a much more accomplished piece than almost everything else I've done before or since.
So, now that all that is explained, I give this to you to do with what you will.
I hope you enjoy it, but if you don't, I don't give a furry rat's ass.
lyrics
I spend all of my time pretending to be alright.
But I'm not fooling anyone; they know what's going on.
I'm beginning my final descent into beautiful La-La Land.
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